Transformation through Reconciliation and Forgiveness
This pandemic period looks to be impelling long-lasting change in certain areas of human behavior. What could be a better example than repairing and restoring family relationships? A recent article in the Christian Science Monitor recounts several stories of individuals realizing that, regardless of what transpired over many many years of hurts, “…the crisis has led people to reconsider what’s most important in their lives…Consequently, some…have made efforts toward reconciliation and forgiveness…”
Choose Peace, Not Pain: Revealing What Really Matters
A recent study shows that about 25% of adult Americans are estranged from family members. An opportunity in human behavior rich for improvement? Yes, and as it turns out, there are two soon-to-be published books on the topic: “Rules of Estrangement” by Joshua Coleman, and “Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them” by Karl Pillemer.
All it takes is one person with a sincere desire to see what’s really at stake and bust through the perceived “barrier” – the calcified hard cutoff that for so long felt justified – to reconnect and start rebuilding. The common theme nudging the first call? “How would I feel if I never reconcile with this person?” says Coleman.
It seems that whatever satisfaction the person felt during the estrangement phase becomes unacceptable in the pandemic period. What happens is reconciliation and forgiveness fill the gnawing emptiness of estrangement and become a tangible comfort and balm in this time of uncertainty.
The Ripple Effect of One Renewal Can Lead to Many
The long-lasting evidence of transformation? “Those who’ve either reconciled with or forgiven others often talk about feeling as if a burdensome weight had been lifted off them… That’s often led to improvements in other relationships, including romantic ones.”
Imagine the wider, rippling effect in our society if/when bitter divisions, resentments and hurt are evaporated by hundreds, maybe thousands of individual reconciliations! Each can begin with a simple, honest reflection, “What weight am I lugging around in my life?” And then, with kindness for yourself and the other person, honestly ask, “Is it truly worth preventing the comfort of reconciliation – in the time we have left to us?”
Statistically speaking (25% of American adults!), the opportunity for transformative healing in an important relationship is near at hand. Now is the time to let it happen.
