Second Look: Turns Out, There ARE Perfect Strangers!

“Sometimes a stranger—not a friend or a loved one—can significantly improve our day. A pleasant encounter with someone we don’t know, even a nonverbal one, can soothe us when no one else is around. It may get us out of our own head—a proven mood booster—and help broaden our perspective.” (The Surprising Boost You Get From Strangers – Wall Street Journal)

Imagine – a spontaneous conversation or kind gesture (Smile! Pick up dropped money! Open a door! Pull out a chair!) between strangers makes both strangers feel better. It’s the force of connection. Like a shared secret password that opens an awesome app. Perfect.

In her recent article, Elizabeth Bernstein describes her own interaction with a perfect stranger during a very stressful experience that had a surprising “elixir effect.” She wanted to know more – in order to make this a more common occurrence. Read the complete article here

“People feel more connected when they talk to strangers, like they are part of something bigger,” says Gillian Sandstrom, a psychologist and senior lecturer in the Department of Psychology at the University of Essex, in Colchester, England.

She’s also found that people are happier on days when they have more interactions with acquaintances they don’t know well and that students enjoy class more when they interact with their classmates. In fact, studies show that people who interact regularly with passing acquaintances, or who engage with others through community groups, religious gatherings or volunteer opportunities, have better emotional and physical health and live longer than people who do not.

Why do we enjoy talking to people we don’t know? The feeling of connection or bonding through an experience, even if it is just standing in line at TSA, makes you feel you are not alone or on your own. Even better, maybe it’s a small moment of meaning that lights you up in a dark situation – and you light someone else up!

Perfect.

A Few Tips to Connect with [Perfect] Strangers!

Be brave. Crowded elevator, commuter train or plane economy seats? Perfect opportunity to apologize for taking up too much space – and start talking!

Ask about the other person. This isn’t creepy bar conversation, be genuinely interested in what interests the other person.

Bond during a challenging experience. Share your exasperation or fear – and ask if the other person is ok.

Ask for help. Be brave, admit you need help – there is always always always someone nearby to respond and give a hand. And you just might be helping that person too!